Growing up in a conservative, evangelical Christian household in Louisiana, Rae McDaniel longed for a book that focused on the exciting parts of gender exploration. More joy and pleasure — less hard slog.
“So much of the literature was focused on suffering, on pain, on risk factors — and that is important,” said Mx. McDaniel, who identifies as queer and nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. “But I wasn’t seeing the other side of the coin.”
Years later, after becoming a therapist who works with transgender people, “I decided that I needed to create it myself,” they said.
The resulting book, “Gender Magic,” was the resource that Mx. McDaniel wished they had available when they were younger — an emphasis on positive coping strategies and a practical guide for achieving what Mx. McDaniel calls “gender freedom.”
We asked Mx. McDaniel and other experts to recommend nonfiction books that explore the mental health and inner worlds of L.G.B.T.Q. people. There are far too many titles to mention here, so think of this list as a starting point.
Memoirs can help people feel less alone, make sense of life experiences and discover fresh perspectives on what it means to identify as L.G.B.T.Q.
In her 2020 coming-of-age story, the stand-up comic explores her early years as a gender-nonconforming child who once dreamed of becoming a priest and what happened when she came out as lesbian at a Catholic college.
“As a child, I felt so much shame about the way that I looked, my gender nonconformity, and my body,” she said in an interview with Lambda Literary, an organization that advocates for L.G.B.T.Q. books and authors.
While she was writing, she added, she put photos of herself as a kid on her fridge and looked at them every day. “If you had met that kid with the weird haircut or with the strange obsession with collecting Ken dolls instead of Barbie, what would you think of this kid?” she said. “I kind of love this kid. She’s herself.”
Written by a psychologist and originally published two decades ago in 2005, this book is still relevant to many gay men, said Miriam Geiger, a psychotherapist who specializes in L.G.B.T.Q. mental health.
“A critical aspect of ‘The Velvet Rage’ is its exploration of how feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness can manifest in behaviors often stereotypically associated with gay men, such as extreme confidence, hypersexuality and a kind of glib meanness,” Ms. Geiger said.
She added: “These stereotypes — often portrayed as ‘sassy’ or ‘quirky’ in the media, are not inherent traits but rather defensive mechanisms developed as a way to cope with deep-seated shame and rejection.”
And while the book focuses on gay men, “its themes resonate broadly across the L.G.B.T.Q. spectrum,” she said.
Described in a 2019 New York Times review as a “heart-stopping memoir of being gay in India and the world,” “An Indefinite Sentence” — set in the 1980s, early in the AIDS epidemic — includes portrayals of the gay men and prostitutes who were ostracized and encapsulates Mr. Dube’s search for love and self-respect.
When Jeffrey Masters, the host of the podcast “LGBTQ&A,” first read Mr. Dube’s memoir, he said, “something cracked open in my head.”
“How people experience sexuality, desire, gender — it’s different everywhere you go,” said Mr. Masters, who is also senior producer of “The New Yorker Radio Hour.” “Isn’t that freeing? There is no one way to be queer or trans.”
When the comic Cameron Esposito read “Fun Home,” Ms. Bechdel’s 2006 illustrated memoir, she said it “changed my life,” describing it as “heartbreaking, honest, just world-altering.”
The book attempts to make sense of Ms. Bechdel’s complicated relationship with her father, a closeted gay man who died shortly after she came out to him as a lesbian.
Years later, in 2012, Ms. Bechdel explored the emotional entanglements of mothers and daughters in the illustrated memoir “Are You My Mother?” It received rave reviews for its honest and insightful depiction of Ms. Bechdel’s relationship with her mother and her experiences in therapy.
In the book, we learn that while therapy plays a role in Ms. Bechdel’s story, it’s not about fixing what’s broken or changing who she is, Ms. Geiger said. “Instead, it’s about embracing her authentic self, understanding her past and finding peace with her identity.”
In the abbreviation L.G.B.T.Q.I.A., the “A” stands for asexual, but is often forgotten, tacked on like an afterthought. If you liked “Ace” and “Belly of the Beast,” check out this 2022 book that explores what it means to be Black and asexual in America.
“People see sex as something that we’re all obligated to participate in for one reason or another,” the author, who uses they/she pronouns, said on the podcast “Sensual Self” in November 2022. They hope this book helps “people free themselves from the burden of trying to force themselves into a box they don’t belong into.”
For L.G.B.T.Q. young people, research shows that one of the best forms of protection from issues like depression, suicide attempts and even homelessness is support from their families.
This new book is a guide for caregivers who want to support the transgender young people in their lives as well as readers who are interested in exploring their own identity or wish to learn more about how some people experience gender.
Written by Dr. Turban, the director of the gender psychiatry program at the University of California, San Francisco, “Free to Be” tells the stories of three young transgender people and covers several topics, including the science of where gender identity comes from and gender-affirming care.
This collection of essays, published in 2018, was written by a longtime disability justice activist and performance artist to celebrate the process of creating spaces for sick and disabled queer people of color.
“I am dreaming the biggest disabled dream of my life — dreaming not just of a revolutionary movement in which we are not abandoned, but of a movement in which we lead the way,” Piepzna-Samarasinha writes.
“I love, love, love this book,” said Mx. McDaniel, who is disabled, describing it as “warm, validating and accessible.”
How do queer and trans people build resilience in a society that can be unwelcoming? That is the central question addressed in this self-help workbook, published in 2018. It was created by Dr. Singh, who is a faculty researcher and administrator at Tulane University and the co-founder of the Georgia Safe Schools Coalition, which aims to reduce heterosexism, prejudice and racism in Georgia schools.
The book focuses on many of the key components of resilience, including holding a positive view of yourself and your abilities, knowing your worth, creating a support community and finding the strength to help others.
Though published in 2006, this collection of essays is timeless, said Abbie E. Goldberg, who is a psychology professor at Clark University and the author of “LGBTQ Family Building: A Guide for Prospective Parents.” Funny and poignant, the essays detail the experiences of nonbiological lesbian mothers — a group that can sometimes feel invisible.
Ms. Aizley describes it “like a campfire around which a nonbiological lesbian mom can listen to tales told by a bunch of gals making the same journey as she.”
