Some racism is so subtle that neither the perpetrator nor the witnesses understand what is going on—which may be frustrating for people of color.
Imagine this: Two black people board a small plane. A flight attendant tells them they can sit anywhere, so they choose seats near the front of the plane and across the aisle from each other to talk. At the last minute, three white men enter the plane and take the seats in front of them. Just before takeoff, the flight attendant, who is white, asks the two black passengers if they would mind moving to the back of the plane to better balance the plane’s load. Both react with anger, sharing the same sense that they are being singled out to symbolically “sit at the back of the bus.” When they express these feelings to the attendant, she deliberately denies the accusation, saying she was trying to ensure the flight’s safety and give the two some privacy. Witnesses defend her, saying it had nothing to do with race.
In this scenario, whether the flight attendant or the witnesses accept it or not, she was indeed committing what’s called “racial micro-aggression”—one of the many demeaning messages sent to black people by well-intentioned white people who are unaware of the hidden messages. In other words, she was acting with bias—she just didn’t know it. It’s a monumental task to get white people to realize that they are delivering micro-aggressions because it assails their self-image of ‘treating everyone the same’ to realize that maybe at an unconscious level, they have biased thoughts that offend people of color.
A regular dose of these psychological slings may erode people’s mental health and job performance. That might have been the case for the black waitress who is going viral on social media after she was fired from Truluck’s in Fort Lauderdale. Several of her coworkers would run their hands through her hair without her permission. Just as in the scenario mentioned above, white people with good intentions might not realize how biased they are being. Touching someone’s hair is not a compliment, and it’s something that black women should not have to endure. The fact that the employees chose a black woman’s hair to be the source for their curious fingers does, in fact, prove a racial bias: What made her so different from the rest that they chose her to be the one to touch? How could they think it would be appropriate to put their hands on her without even asking first? The answers to both questions lead directly to her race. Indirectly, they viewed her as something so exotic that they treated her as if she were on display. It’s an unconscious racial bias that they would deny, yet the fact of the matter is that her being black with a hair texture different from theirs is what ignited their curiosity to touch. Additionally, the fact that she’s black is why they didn’t even think to ask first and assumed they could just invade her personal space without permission. Those who deny the hidden racism in these gestures are part of the problem. She quoted her former coworker named Amber saying, “it’s not because you’re black, it’s because you have cute hair.” But under what terms is it appropriate to put your hands on people’s hair because you think their hair is cute? Imagine if everyone who thinks her hair is cute were allowed to touch it freely. Would she even be human at that point, or some sort of statue? People should simply think before they speak and think before they touch others.
The woman also named the operating partner, Todd Perry, saying he told her that the first time someone touches her hair is not a problem, and it would only be a problem if they do so again. She also quoted him saying it’s not a race issue but a personal space issue. Realistically, it is a mixture of both issues among others. Maybe Todd Perry himself viewed her as so different that he thought she was supposed to stand obediently and be touched by random white people. A lot of white people who claim not to be racist are, in fact, very much so. Pay close attention to their alleged comment that the “first time” someone touches her isn’t a problem—why should there be a first time that anyone touches her? Only in the mind of an actual racist person is it acceptable for their white employees to touch their black employees. I’d be willing to bet that the only time they would say it’s okay “the first time” is when it involves a white person touching a black person. If the touching is white on white or black on white, the offender would be terminated immediately.
Another person named by the waitress was Gregory Martinez, a Truluck’s waiter who is a former general manager of Bonefish Grill. In her complaint to the Department of Justice Civil Rights Division, the waitress specified two dates that Gregory Martinez allegedly touched her hair: December 22, 2023, and January 8, 2024. Just as disturbing is her claim that on February 12, 2024, the same waiter asked her if she was wearing contact lenses. That question, like the touching of a black person’s hair and the flight attendant scenario described above, is an example of racial micro-aggressions. If you want to offend people without even trying, then don’t educate yourself on racial micro-aggressions. But if you are willing to put your pride aside, you might realize just how many racially biased undertones you have. Why would anyone ask a black person if they are wearing contact lenses? But of course, that question wasn’t because she’s black, right? So, does Gregory Martinez ask white people if they are wearing contact lenses? Absolutely not.
Why should a black person be subjected to questions that they would not receive if they were white? People would walk into a room and see nine white people with light-colored eyes and one black person with light-colored eyes, and only question the black person about contact lenses, then turn around and say their question “is not because of race.” The same response is given when curious white hands find their way into a black woman’s hair, uninvited.
The fact of the matter is that in the black community, hair touching is a sign of disrespect. If a person of color tries to educate you on how disrespectful it is, and you become defensive, it shows that you feel superior enough to disregard their cultural boundaries. It is perfectly healthy and safe to learn about the various cultural boundaries that exist. It’s about learning the barriers to people being able to meaningfully connect. Conversations about race between Black and white friends can feel uncomfortable, but having these discussions may make the friendship stronger. When you speak, you say what you already know. But if you would just listen, you could learn something that you didn’t know, and knowledge can prevent racialized harm.
**Disclaimer:**
This article contains quotes and descriptions attributed to the victim involved in the events discussed. The use of words such as “claimed” and “allegedly” in the article is intended to accurately represent the recollection of the victim. Any statements made by the victim are quoted as such. The writer or the newspaper does not assume responsibility for any potential defamation or slander resulting from the content of this article.
