“CPAC stands for ‘Clowns Periodically Assembling in Convention Centers.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It’s basically Coachella for people who post on Facebook in all caps.” — JIMMY FALLON
“They started it with the traditional 21 assault rifle salute and the pledge of allegiance to Donald Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“CPAC calls itself ‘the largest and most influential gathering of conservatives in the world.’ The speeches will be serious, while the people trying to dance at the after-party will be hilarious.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The conference is being held at the Gaylord Harbor National Resort and Convention Center, which is another reason Mike Pence won’t come.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“They’ve got some great panels lined up this year. These are real — we didn’t make these up. These are not jokes. People pay to go see panels like ‘No Chinese Balloons Above Tennessee,’ ‘Sacking the Woke Playbook,’ ‘Parents with Pitchforks.’ I saw Parents with Pitchforks at Coachella last year. Really good band.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But this is nice: After each speech, there will be a QAnon — I’m sorry, Q. and A.” — JIMMY FALLON
