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Stephen Colbert Goes Live After Thursday’s Jan. 6 Hearing

by TSB Report
July 22, 2022
in Trending
Reading Time: 3 mins read
Stephen Colbert Goes Live After Thursday’s Jan. 6 Hearing
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Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

The Insurrection Will Be Televised

The lengthy Jan. 6 hearing on Thursday night highlighted former President Donald Trump’s lack of attempts to stop the insurrection on the Capitol, instead choosing to watch Fox News in the White House dining room.

“He chose not to act. Same review he got for ‘Home Alone 2,’” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday’s live edition of “Late Night.”

“He did not call them from a box. He did not call while watching Fox. He did not help out Uncle Sam. His brain is made of eggs and ham. But, in his defense, it is possible he forgot the number for 9-1-1.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on news that Trump didn’t reach out to any security officials on Jan. 6

“Yes, he is a stain on our history — and thanks to these hearings, we know that stain is ketchup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Representative Adam Kinzinger’s referring to Trump’s inaction as “a stain” on our history

“So, all in all, it was a long night — almost three hours — but it wasn’t nearly as long as the 187 minutes where the former president did nothing to stop an ongoing insurrection that he created and then watched it all in glee as it played out on TV. Let’s just hope some of his followers were watching this tonight.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Punchiest Punchlines (‘Positive’ News for Biden Edition)

“Get well soon, sir. You made it through the Spanish flu; you can make it through this.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Biden hasn’t been this sick since the time he got scurvy on Noah’s Ark.” — RUPAUL

“That’s right, Covid isn’t going to slow Joe Biden down because he can’t get any slower.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Bits Worth Watching

Jimmy Fallon announced his book club’s latest selection on Thursday’s “Tonight Show”: “Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow,” by Gabrielle Zevin.

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